Bean Counters

I cancelled a motor insurance policy recently and was told I would be liable for a cancellation fee. Charming. It was never mentioned when I took out the policy, and reading through the policy book the only mention of it is "you may be charged a small cancellation fee". May... Anyway, the insurance company make an utter fucking balls-up of doing their job and carried on stealing money from my bank account for several months. They denied receiving my letters (all sent registered), and were utterly unhelpful on the telephone.

Needless to say I was a little irritated by this and told them I was unhappy paying their cancellation fee as the process had been marred with difficulty and incompetency, all of which was their doing. Now I get a letter from some wanker debt recovery agency. It's marked URGENT all over it, yet they sent it 2nd class. "DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE OUR RESOLVE IN REGARD TO RECOVERING THIS MONEY", which is £20 by the way.

Well, Mr Insurance Company, and Mr Debt Recovery Agency, "DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE MY RESOLVE TO TELL YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELVES".

Chavs

Dear oh fucking dear. What is society going to do about these lower class fucktards?! Well as it happens I've come up with the perfect solution, because let's face it the Police never bother turning up when you ask them to!

Reputable, hard-working, honest members of the public should be able to undertake a training course, with very tight regulation, psychometric testing, personality profiling and the provision of numerous references from employers, neighbours, professionals etc. Once this course has been completed, the aformentioned upstanding citizen is duly issued with a fingerprint activated automatic machine pistol.

Upon having their quality of life adversely affected by the imbecile behaviour of these social dog-turds, the citizen has the full and absolute legal right to execute them in the street, preferably with 2 shots to the head. The local Chav Corpse Collection Service can then be summoned to retrieve the worthless, now deceased twat and steam clean the surrounding area to remove any surplus body parts.

Scum

Just found out that one of my friends had his house burgled whilst he was visiting family at Christmas. Charming. Come home after a festive visit to find some smackhead junkie lowlife has cleaned you out and driven the loot away in your own car.

Now aside from being Mr Angry, I'm actually a pretty friendly, caring, agreeable chap. That said, I'd quite happily see these cunts strung up and boiled alive and not bat an eyelid over it.

Retards`

Fucking students. The Christmas break is over and the city is overrun with the little cunts again. They can't drive, they can't park, they walk into inanimate objects like they aren't there, they dawdle along in front of you so slowly you start to question if you're actually moving at all.

Allegedly these tossers are the intellectual cream of society! A bunch of blithering dumbfucks, most of whom need a bath and a fucking haircut. Probably the cause of huge numbers of accidents as they wander like zombies across busy roads whilst laughing like thick-ass chavs at the latest lame shite on their gaylord fucking mobile phones.

Fucking Hangovers

I put down far too much beer last night and felt like shit this morning. Then I had to go to work. Fortunately my boss wasn't around to do my head in for once.

When I got home I discovered the cat had shit on the rug. Fucking marvellous.